we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
