I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
