I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
