Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
