for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
