Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
