I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
