Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
