I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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