Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just had sex bonerless
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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