addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
