hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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