and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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