I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
