I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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