If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need water and some morals
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
