I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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