Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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