I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
