Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
