you would pick up someone in the library
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
