dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
