JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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