we have officially lost it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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