dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
