Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
