bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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