He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
