He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
