problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
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I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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