:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize