how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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