Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
