I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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