Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
