maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
