matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Can i not drive my cunt home
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
