Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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