New invention idea: vibrating tampons
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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