just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
