She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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