dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
