whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am one with the molecules
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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