Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
