and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
