Non-Jews are for practice
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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