i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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