perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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