the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
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