Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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