I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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