so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize