I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
