Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
