Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I love having hate sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize