I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
