I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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