i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
