Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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