wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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