grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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