so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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