i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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