i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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